Venom
by Rainless Thunder
Summary: “Take a breath.” He felt her shuddering against him. “Shiho.”


Disclaimer: It doesn't take a detective to know that I truly do not own Detective Conan.

This is my first Detective Conan, so I'm afraid they might be just a _little _*sarcasm* out of Character. Enjoy!

Venom

This was not unwanted it was not willing either. Maybe it was just uncomfortable. Shinichi sure did not feel that way.

"Forget what it's like to do adult things Kudo?"

With her back against the wall, he kissed her roughly with his newly acquired adult features. Ai grasped at his back nails dug into his shirt covered shoulder blades.

"Using me until your girlfriend comes back from the states? Eh, Kudo?" she said lips parted.

He grew rigid, he had already led her to the bed, hands grasped at her waist, and she was straddling him. A non-committal grunt escaped his lips.

"Why would I do that?"

"You're just using me, like everyone else has."

Her eyes glossed over, arms hugging herself uncomfortably. Was this feeling what it was like to be right about something when you wished that you were dead wrong? Deep down she wished he actually loved her. Nevertheless, she knew if he did, that would only lead to events that are more unfortunate. As if what they were, doing now was unfortunate enough. They were already in hiding from the Black Organization.

"We've been damned kids for half our damn lives Ai!" his hands slid down her waist to her thighs and gripped them tight. "Are you going to deny me this one right." He said harshly. He looked up at her. The gloss over her eyes had begun to tip over. A drop fell squarely on his bare chest. It landed over his venerable heart.

This was so out of character for them both: for Ai to openly cry in front of him and for Shinichi to be so rough with her. Shinichi's hands let go of her thighs and brought them up to her shoulders, slowly he bent her downward, her head now rested on his chest. He kissed her hair.

""Hormones." He chuckled, shaking her little. "That's all we are, a bunch of unbridled, uncontrollable hormones." This time she giggled.

"Maybe that's the reason we've become so out of it. Hormones. We gained an abundance of them all at one time, and now we need something or someone to let it all out to." She said against his chest. "We're not innocent irresponsible children any more. We are adults with all the responsibility in the world."

The only clothes they had managed to abandon were Shinichi's shirt and Ai's panty hose. Ai proceeded to reach downward towards the floor for Shinichi's shirt, when he stopped her by grasping her wrist. "Stop, just lay with me."

Maybe it wasn't so bad to just lay with your almost lover. Lives intertwined by some unnecessary drug. Meant to die but given an even worse fate. Live the life of a child and live with the guilt. Never tell anyone though. Fools. We all are. Live for the thrill. Question the demon that slumbers just beneath the heart. Let it influence you every chance it gets.

"When you encouraged Ran to leave for the states, I should have left too."

"Never abandon the ones you are meant to protect."

Their clothing came off slowly, a bit every half hour or so. Slow progression. Time and silence was what they needed. A somewhat break from the unending chaos just outside the abandoned Detective Agency they vacated weeks before.

"Don't say that."

His kiss as cold as ice, and yet as hot as scalding water. This love wasn't meant to be. But wasn't she happy? Having Shinichi Kudo all to herself for once? Wasn't having his kiss on her lips and her lips only, his bare skin against hers, his body heat warming her. Wasn't that what she wanted?

"Take a breath." He felt her shuddering against him. "Shiho."

Her heart berating itself against her chest, it throbbed painfully. The pain nothing compared to the ache he unwillingly inflicted inside and outside her. Gradual devotion, she called the unwanted ache in her heart. She was selfish, so much misery she had caused him single handedly. There was no way she could have been there for him.

The subtle bruises he left from gripping her, proved agonizing but worth it. Just the overwhelming bliss that took her over reminded her of the stupid necessary labor that brought her here. That stupid but necessary effort was what led her to meet him. At least it was worth something.

Her labored breaths teased his neck and ghosted near his ears. He could not speak. All words hitched in his throat like never before. Shinichi just could not quite grasp what exactly he was feeling. He felt guilty. He was betraying her. She said she would wait for him, he agreed. He lied. This lust almost love was just him making up for all the times he should have been holding Ran tight. He had never held her as tight as he was holding Ai now. Why was he doing this? Would he ever be able to hold Ran the way he'd always wanted. With no way to turn back now, his love for Ran… the love he's afraid he must now forget. Hot tears forced themselves from beneath his eyelid. Ai, no Shiho, kissed them away. Shinichi knew she was feeling the same feeling of guilt and betrayal as he was. Then what was this? Pity love? Sympathy sex?

Her lips captured his in a needy kiss. As if, she was hoping to unload all her hopeless, apathetic feelings on him. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. Sweat plastered his dark hair across his face. He did not feel the least bit fatigued. She whimpered beneath him.

"Your okay." He chuckled against her neck.

"This is in no way funny," She gasped as he released the pressure to her lower body. She moaned involuntarily. "That was out of pain." She smirked up at him with half lidded eyes.

"Sorry about that." His lids were heavy as he wiped a tendril of her damp hair from her eyes. He grinned.

"What are you grinning about?"

"I made you somewhat smile."

"Oh, I thought you were gonna say something cliché like: oh you're so beautiful."

"Did you want me to?"

"No. If you did, I'd probably slap you." She said, bringing her hand up and stroking his warm face. "There's no way I look beautiful right now, I'm sweaty, flushed, and I'm covered in your saliva…and other bodily fluids"

"You're cute when you blush."

"Are you delusional right now?"

"Do you always have to ruin the moment?"

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Okay then." He grinned.

Shinichi kissed her forehead as he moved to make room for her to sit up. Her hands clutched at the bed sheets before she lifted herself up. Her legs felt like jelly, her center of balance was virtually non-existent along with her innocence. Shiho felt that any moment she would trip, if not on her own limbs.

Shinichi watched her clumsy trek to the bathroom. No matter how much he wanted to aid her, he stayed put. He knew she wouldn't want to be feminized any more than she already was. On the other hand, his limbs did feel fatigued and his lids began to droop…

Her hands clutched at the sides of the sink. Head faced towards the mirror, eyes staring down her own reflection. She impulsively closed them. Though the pain had dulled, she could still feel the slight trickle of blood as it slid gruelingly slow down her leg. Before she realized, tears had also began to slide gruelingly slow down her cheeks. They fell with a soft splash in the basin of the sink…

The soft sobbing he heard had awoken him at last. Having ignored them previously thinking it was part of the partial dream he was experiencing at the time. He less than gracefully rolled out of bed, managed his pair of underwear and headed towards the bathroom. Shinichi pushed the door open effortlessly and silently, head leaning against the door frame he observed her.

She was sitting on the rim of the bathtub. The curves that traveled ever so subtly down her pale body. His view unimpeded by any towel. She wasn't crying anymore, but he could just feel the sorrowful aura emanate from around her. What was she so depressed about? He just had to wonder. Well she does have a lot to be angry about. He reasoned, shrugging. Maybe she was just uncomfortable about what she just did with him. She looked and felt fine when he was embracing her, touching her, letting go with her. What was wrong now? He took one silent step through the threshold. Unnoticed, he remained. With each inaudible step, the fact that he was so silent made him somewhat feel that maybe if the Detective job didn't work, then maybe he could become a sniper or an assassin of some kind. He sighed; maybe she was just acting as if he wasn't there. Girls did that a lot, he'd observed lately. Shinichi stopped right behind her.

She knew he was there, but for the sake of being difficult and a little curious. She decided wait and see what he would do.

"Your obviously comfortable." He got down on his knees, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"You too." She said softly, he slid his arms around her bare waist and tightened, closing the space between them.

"What're you so sad about?" One his hands reached up and turned her face towards him.

"You still love her don't you?" lips parted, voice cracked.

"I--." He leaned in and kissed her lightly, the smack of their lips pulling back echoed throughout the bathroom. "You're my priority right now."

"Is that all I am? A priority, because your precious girlfriend in already safe? Your toy to keep safe for the moment?" Shiho stood up. Throwing his arms off her and walked to the side of the bathtub. Where she leaned up against the wall with arms crossed over her chest.

"Don't say that! Of course not! I care about you. Probably more than I should." He stared into her eyes. Shinichi walked up to her.

"Care?" her eyes closed. "That's it?" her voice was cracked and breathy.

"Scratch that then," his eyes closed, fists clenched. "I love you." He said half-heartedly.

"You don't mean that." She wasn't disappointed, but she wasn't satisfied though.

"Don't be like that. Okay, I admit, I don't love you, but I care enough about you that I wouldn't lie to you."

"That's all I wanted."

"Do you want me to leave?"

Without an answer, Shinichi inhaled then turned to leave, she grabbed his arm.

"Stop, just lay with me."

She placed her hand on his neck. She gingerly, timidly drew imaginary lines across his bare, warm skin. Across his collarbones, down his chest, and stopped at his heart…

Maybe it wasn't that bad to lay with your lover.

**Thanks for reading, maybe it wasn't that bad to read. I think they are Out of Character, but nonetheless, it was fun to write. **

**Review, please and thank you, believe me, they are appreciated. **


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